Monday, July 12, 2010

About Saturday night/Sunday morning

me: so on Saturday night, technically sunday morning, whatever, it was 3 am, I bought a gram of blow from a large black prositute named louise
Robert: i'm sorry what
me: she actually went and picked it up for me and fronted me the money and then i paid her back when she returned to the bar I was at
I hugged her
Robert: you shouldn't buy anything from a prostitute. anything.
11:57 AM how did we meet lousie?
me: she was even looking out for my safety since she went to go get it herself because "white girls weren't allowed"
Robert: hahahahah
me: her niece, who was also a prostitute, gave a bj in an alley to this honduran dude that I was chatting up in the espanol. We were discussing the oil spill.
11:58 AM I kid you not, this place is going to destroy me

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Need to read more. The conversations have all gotten boring.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

This morning I woke up itching like a 5 year old with chicken pox due to being feasted (buffet-ed?) upon my these straight outta hades sand gnats or biting midges, whatever you want to call the jerks. Anyhoo, I groggily mosey over to the bathroom in hopes of benadryl or something fun to get rid of this scratching my arms and legs like a flea bitten woman of the night. To my surprise as I was rummaging through my miscellaneous drug drawer (you know you have one), I found something called "Anti-itching cream". Oh HOOORAY!!! JESUS HAS RISEN!!!! I rub this all over me-- twice. I look like I have been attacked by laxative fed pigeons but I am waiting for the relief to wash over me. While I'm waiting, I bother to read the tube more closely. I have now twice applied VAGINAL itching cream all over me.

While I recognize it's basically the same thing... It forced me to shower (and you all know how much I love to do that), because something I put solely on my hoohah, shouldn't be on my forearms.